[GBS]

Well, I have been taking my medication for two days.... and I am not quite sure if I like it. I have felt a bit fuzzy since last night, and I have noticed that I am much more tired. I have noticed a change in my anxiety level, but mostly because I am too tired to be anxious. I also noticed that the packaging included the warning "may cause dizziness and drowsiness. Do not operate machinery." Hmmmm. I am going to give it a try for a week and the see where I am at.

I have been processing the fact that I am going to be meeting with a bariatric surgeon soon. I have been weighing out the pros and cons of Gastric Bypass surgery... and I must admit that now that it's a very real possibility, I am finding myself to be a bit nervous and maybe even unsure about the entire thing. Here are a few pros and cons I have come up with (at least the important ones.)

Pros:

Losing 70-80% of excess body weight in 12 months.I am tired of being fat. I have ALWAYS felt like I was larger than most people. I have been called names and ridiculed since I was young. I am ready to lose the weight and finally feel good about myself. Plus, I am carrying around 130+ extra pounds of weight!! I am ready to let that weight go.
Lower Blood Pressure (and other health benefits)
When you are as large as I am the heart has to pump harder to keep up. My blood pressure has been giving me fits for the last few years. Hell, even 8 years ago when I had Trey Bear I was struggling with my blood pressure. I am too young to have to worry about that. Losing weight would also address several other health issues I would face if I dont lose weight, including heart disease, cancer, stroke, sleep apnea, etc. I am ready to be healthy.

Alleviation of lower extremity muscle and joint pain.
My feet, ankles, knees, legs, and back hurt constantly. When I walk for too long or when I am on my feet for too long it becomes painful. When you are carrying around as much weight as I am, it's no wonder.

The ability to keep up with and play with my children.
I am going to be 30 years old in 2 years. I have three amazing kids who are full of life and ready to play! When we go to the park I get winded chasing after them. I find myself sitting on the bench just to catch my breath. I can't play soccer with Trey or run around the bases when we play baseball. I dont want to be the mother that dies young because she didnt take care of herself.

Improved physical relationship with my husband.
I have spent the majority of my marriage pregnant... and/or overweight. Needless to say, I have self-image and self-esteem issues that have created a lot of tension in regards to my physical relationship with my husband. I am ready to be proud of how I look and comfortable in my own skin. I deserve it. I am ready to let go of my self doubt.


Cons:

Excess skin.
I think the thing I am the most afraid of is losing a bunch of weight and being left with tons of extra skin. Insurance does not cover cosmetic surgery, and I know that we dont have the money to pay for it out of pocket. I dont want to put one issue behind me only to take on an entirely new set of issues.

I am already self- conscious as it is. I wont even take my shirt off in front of my husband. I had two children very close together and it did crazy things to my body. I am already very hefty and I you can tell my skin has stretched over the years due to the weight gain and weight loss roller coaster I have been on since I was in high school. The idea of having POUNDS of loose skin hanging off of me scares me to death. Knowing I dont have the funds to have the skin removed and that I'd be trapped in my own skin (literally) scares me even more!!

I have done quite a bit of research, and from what I understand not everyone that has Gastric Bypass surgery ends up having loose/excess skin. There really is no way of telling how it would end up for me. When you lose weight very quickly it's hard for your skin to keep up. If you lose weight slowly and steadily, the skin has a better chance of adjusting. Even with Bypass surgery, people lose weight at different paces. It's hard to tell how quickly or how slowly I will lose weight. *shaking my head!*

Health Risks
Vomiting: After surgery, when you eat more than the stomach pouch can hold or if you dont chew up your food into mush... it comes right back up. Who wants to worry about vomiting every time they eat?
Dumping Syndrome: If the pyloric valve - which regulates how fast food exits the stomach - is bypassed, food may leave the stomach and enter the digestive tract too quickly, which leads to a release of adrenalin which typically causes nausea, palpitations, sweating and diarrhea.
Lack of Vitamins and Minerals: Mal absorptive bypass operations carry greater risk for nutritional deficiency. Patients must therefore take a variety of nutritional supplements.

Not only do I have to worry about THOSE things, I am at risk of bleeding, infections, gastritis, the formation of gallstones, as well as weight regain in the period 3-5 years afterwards. It seems like an awful lot to worry about. -sigh- 


I have a long road ahead and many big decisions to make. I am sure that when I meet with the surgeon he will be able to answer and questions I have. I am sure that he will walk me through the pros and cons and make sure this is the right choice for me. I am almost positive that I want to have the surgery... and the more I think about it the more the positives (benefits) outweigh the negatives (risks.) I will continue to process it all and see what I come up with.