Monday, August 15, 2011


Today has been a GREAT day. I stayed up late last night, reading a few different books that my brother and sister gave me. I woke up this morning with a sense of contentment that I haven't felt in a long time.

Opening up and talking about my issues has really helped me to process them. Sharing my struggles with other people and opening up the channels of loving exchange has allowed me to view myself through someone elses eyes, and to view my situation from a different perspective. It's an amazing gift to have such kind, caring, and understanding friends in my life.

Drinking aside... I have so many other things going on right now! Frank is working his butt off down in Fort Worth. He is like the energizer bunny!! He works, sleeps, work, sleeps. He loves it though :) He was born to be a railroader. He is supposed to call me tonight when he gets off the train. We have much to discuss.

The main thing we have to talk about is the fact that I REALLY dont want to move to Fort Worth. I REALLLLLY don't. I have a list of reasons.

1.) It's too far away from Derby.
2.) I would never see Frank... and I would be on my own.
3.) We shouldnt be moving the kids around so much.
4.) It's TEXAS... and I'm a Liberal Democrat. (Ha)
5.) I enjoy all that being in Derby has to offer.
6.) There is more to life than money.

The list goes on and on! Also, Trey is getting ready to start school at Tanglewood. He has a male teacher this year, which is such a blessing! Trey responds better to male authority figures. I have a feeling that it's going to be a great year! Most of his little football buddies are in his class, and I have already had a very positive experience with his teacher. It's such a shame to jerk Trey out of school and move him again.

I can understand from a financial standpoint why Frank would want to stay in Fort Worth. If he pushes the transfer through and comes up here to Wichita, he loses all of the seniority he has gained since he started working for UP. That means he would be the low man on the pole... and at risk of getting bumped or being out of work. That's a large risk to take when we have financial responsibilities. We are not for certain that he would end up being bumped or without work, but it COULD happen. Hell, it COULD happen anywhere. That is the nature of the railroad.

Frank holds seniority down in Fort Worth, so he is secure in his position. He is working so much that he is making more money than I thought possible (to be honest.) For a guy without a college degree to be pulling in 80K a year... that's impressive and hard to come by. Having him give that up to move up here where we'd have to live with the lack of job security seems ridiculous, but like I said, there is more to life than money.

In talking with him tonight we have to figure out where we are going and what we are doing. If we stay here and he goes ahead with the transfer, I have to find us somewhere to live. It's not that i dont LOVE my parents (ha), but living here is making me feel like I'm in high school again. It's not healthy. I haven't jumped on finding a place because we are so up in the air about what is going to happen with the job situation.

I also need to find the girls a preschool/program to attend. The MDO in Mulvane wont call me back -grumble- and it was the only one that I found that was the same quality and had the same program type as what the girls are used to. Looks like it will be back to the drawing board for momma. I think it's important to get them into something so they can interact with other kids their age and learn some basics. Eisley WILL be going to Faith Lutheran 3 year old preschool next year. Emery WILL follow when she turns 3. I value early education. It makes a huge difference.

Well, that is all I really have for today. Like I said, it's been a good day. My blog entries yesterday were kind of dark and serious. I am not going to sugar coat anything... because that's not my style. I am going through some dark and serious things in my life right now. It feels good to talk about it, though.

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