Friday, April 22, 2011

[emery's funny walk]

"We noticed a while back that Emery had a funny way of walking. We had concerns so we took her to a specialist this morning :)

She has a condition called FEMORAL ANTEVERSION.
Femoral Antiversion is a condition where the femoral neck leans forward in respect to the rest of the femur. (The femur is the long bone that runs between the knee and the hip.) This causes the lower extremities to rotate internally *the knee and the foot twist toward the midline of the body.* When Emery is standing with her feet forward, her patellae (kneecaps) point inward.

She also has a condition called INTERNAL TIBIAL TORSION, which is more prominant in her right leg than her left leg.

Internal Tibial Torsion is a twisting of the tibia (the bone that runs between the knee and the foot.) The inward torsion is a variation of normal anatomy and is caused partially by a child's position in the uterus during pregnancy. In children with this condition, when their kneecaps are facing forward, you notice medial rotation of the feet. (Curvature of the tibia, resulting in a bowing affect.)

So, thanks to my small Uterus, Emery was positioned in a way that has caused her little legs to develop differently then they should have. The Doctors say that in 99% of cases kids will outgrow the condition by the time they are 10 years old :) Looks like we will just have to encourage her and kiss her ouchies when she falls... and pray that her gait improves with age."

So, the above is what i posted on Facebook... but I am going to take a minute to rant in my blog because my feelings run a little deeper than that.

I am SO thankful that it wasn't something more serious, but my heart hurts for the little girl Emery will be a few years from now who walks differently than the other kids her age... and the ridicule she might experience because of it. Kids can be so cruel... and bullying is such a problem this day and age that any differences a child might have are sure to be exploited.

I feel so silly complaining about this when there are children out there who are going through something much worse than dealing with a crooked walk, but no parent wants to see their child suffer *even if the suffering is mild and short lived.*

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

[turn around]

Failure is painful. No one wants to try again and again just to fail each time. In order to avoid further pain, our mind simply gives up on us. When this happens, one is not even willing to attempt anything further as the moment we think about the problem, all the painful thoughts of past failure overwhelms us, and all we are able to do is to give ourselves reasons why any action we take will not succeed. The good news is that whatever the life situation, we can always turn it around once we decide to make it happen!

Here are some tips to orchestrate the turn around:

1) Believe it is possible to succeed
The only real danger is your belief that there is no solution for your problem - that you are indeed helpless. You need to first remove this belief if you want to make any progress. The fact is that all power to find that solution lies within you - you are just not seeing the solution yet.

2) Your past is not equal to your future
Your future has got nothing to do with the past. By taking correct action in the present moment, you can create anything you want. Learn from the past but do not get stuck in it.

3) Practice Persistence
Success takes persistence. People who stick around longer without giving up open themselves to success more than people who give up easily when they fail a few times. Successful people never stop trying.

4) Do it better each day
While persistence is good, one needs to always look for better ways to solve the same problem. Get creative and see how you can solve the same problem in a better way, that you did not attempt yesterday.

5) There are no real failures
Each failure is a stepping stone to future success. Failures brings us much needed knowledge and experience that was lacking the last time around. If the correct lessons are learnt and applied from past experiences, success if not far away.

6) Consult with an expert
It is good to get some fresh ideas from other people who have experience and skill dealing with the challenges you are facing. For e.g - Some relationships that you could not improve by yourself for over a decade can be turned around in a couple of months with help from a skilled relationship coach. The same goes with other areas of life such as your career, health and finances.

7) Stay positive and appreciative of what you do have
Just because one area of your life is not working the way you want, do not fool yourself into believing that your entire life has gone haywire. When we are focused on what is lacking, we just tend not to pay enough attention to what is working. Practice genuine appreciation of the areas of your life that are doing great. Whatever the situation, each one of us has a lot to be grateful for, that some others may not be blessed with.

8) Know that this is too shall pass
No problem remains forever. Most of us have faced problems that perhaps felt like the end of the world many years back, that hardly cross our mind or heart at this time. With continued right effort, you will find the solution much sooner than you think.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

[failing today]

I sometimes feel as though I am failing.

Failing as a wife.

Failing as a mother.

Failing as a daughter.

Failing as a friend.

Failing in general.

I become overwhelmed by the struggles I face... and I allow them to get the best of me every now and then. I am human. It happens.

Today, I feel as though I am failing as a mother.
I have three children.

My youngest daughter (Emery) is the sweetest little thing that ever walked the planet, but she has a wicked streak that comes out every now and then. If she doesn't get what she wants she has learned how to throw herself to the ground or go limp when you are trying to pick her up. More often then not, this results in bumps to the head. She is also CONSTANTLY being picked on by her big sister and has trouble walking/running *for reasons that are undetermined quite yet*, so she is always falling -or being pushed- down and hitting her head, splitting her lip, or scraping her knees. She has bumps and bruises everywhere, all of the time. Its a full time job just making sure she makes it through the day in one piece.

My middle child, Eisley, is a beautiful terror. Plain and simple. She has a heart of gold but an attitude that sends me to the moon and back. She refuses to listen and gets into EVERYTHING! She wont just sit and play with her toys or look at a book, she is in constant motion!! She also has a tendency to paint with her poop if given the opportunity... and she likes to throw her food the second I turn my back. (And not just on the floor, but at her sister, the walls, and even the ceiling on occasion.) Needless to say, she gives me a run for my money. It is "all go, no quit" from the time she wakes up in the morning until the time she goes to bed at night.

My oldest, Trey, is at an age where I am not sure WHAT to do with him. He is such a great kid, but he is definitely testing the waters when it comes to what he can and can't get away with around here. He has a very quick sense of humor (which he has learned from his dad), and sometimes that sense of humor can turn into backtalk if not kept in check... and if he gets away with it once, he runs with it! He is also at an age where we have assigned him chores and are teaching him the value of hard work and how to handle money. It doesn't sound like it would be stressful or lead to me wanting to pull my hair out, but it is and it does. He also has learned that if he asks me something when I am busy with the girls I will most likely ignore the question (which he takes as a "yes") or I will throw a "yes" in his direction just to get him off my back so I can go back to cleaning up poop. This has led to some disagreements.

I sometimes sit back and look at these little people that are in my charge, and I wonder "What in the HELL am I doing!!" More often than not I am just trying to make it through the day without flying off the handle or putting them in boxes and shipping them to Grandma and Grandpa.

So, I have made peace with the fact that I am usually at my wits end and barely scraping by with my sanity intact on a daily basis. I have made peace with not having all of the answers and not being happy and sparkly and perfect day in and day out! What I haven't made peace with, however, is seeing posts made by other mother's regarding how they have managed to bake 3 dozen cookies for the Easter party at church while teaching their two year old how to count to 30 in Spanish and spell every word through the letter C in the dictionary! Seriously?!? I know I should never compare myself to other people, but DAMN, if other moms can do it, why in the hell can't I?

*shaking my head*

I am sure I will have more to add to this rant later.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

[I love my husband]

I have to admit, I was taken aback by the title of a blog I saw recently. It can be found by searching for "I Hate My Husband" on Google. What a sad story! Yet, just this morning I found myself thinking more negatively than positively about my own relationship with my husband... so I decided, then and there, to put into action a thought I had regarding focusing on the good things. It's all about perspective. So, it's time for some serious reflections on the man I married... and why I CHOOSE to LOVE him! Sometimes I just need a motivational "kick" to finish what I started.

I love the way he lights up when he gets home from being on the road. Frank is on the road a lot.. it's the nature of his job. Whenever he puts that key into the lock and walks into the house, he can't hide the excitement of being home and with those he loves. Every time we are met with the same enthusiasm and same excitement as the time before.

I love the way he takes pride in his work and finds joy in being a good provider. We have struggled in the past with making ends meet, and Frank has always wanted nothing more than to be able to provide for us all of the things we want and need. I have never seen him as happy as he has been these last few months. It is truly a blessing to watch him succeed at and find such joy in what he does.

I love the way he takes good care of himself physically by eating right and exercising. We both used to make poor choices in regards to what foods we would eat and what we allowed into our bodies. Since we both made the decision to live healthily (both in body and mind) it has made a huge difference in our lives. I admire him for sticking to it and for encouraging me to stick to it as well. I love that he is worried about my health and has said "he doesn't know what he would do if he lost me."

I love that he has always thought of and treated Trey as if he were his own. The bond they share runs so deep that I believe with my entire heart that Trey was born to be Frank's son, and that Frank was born to be Trey's dad. They walk the same, talk the same, and they even look alike. It's as if God reached down from Heaven and arranged this for us. It's beautiful.

I love how he has a special relationship with each of our children. Each relationship is as different as they are. He makes sure to spend 'one on one' time with each of our kids at least twice a week, even if it's just 15 minutes to read a story or 20 minutes of wrestling/playing on the living room floor.

I love him for having the strength and courage -when we were facing hard times in our marriage- to take responsibility for his actions and make changes to become a better person (while I did the same)... and I love him for working hard to stick to the commitment he made to continue to put us first.

I love how Frank puts our family ahead of anything else. Whenever he isn't at work or held away from home, he spends that time with us as much as possible. He knows what's important.

I love how he cares what I think about things and how I feel about things, and he always takes those thoughts and feelings into consideration when making decisions. We are a team.

I love how he always has my morning coffee, mug, spoon, and creamer ready for action when I wake up a few hours after her does! I love how most mornings he has my grapefruit sliced or my oatmeal prepared as well :)

I love how he is extra quiet in the morning/middle of the night so I can sleep while he gets ready for work. This includes shaving in dim light so the bathroom light does not wake me up. *But he always makes sure to kiss my forehead or give my leg a light touch before he leaves... just to let me know he is thinking about me.*

I love the way he supports me and boosts my confidence in myself. He might not constantly throw compliments around or shower me with affection every waking second, but he knows exactly what to say and when to say it, and those special moments mean the world to me.

I love the way he lets me know that someday he will support me in my career... and he will always support my need to do what I love even if it doesn't pay the best. He insists that me being happy is more important than what I will make.

I love how he always makes sure that the water bottle by my bed is filled so I won’t run out in the middle of the night :)

I love the way he supports me when I have to face my own demons in my life... and how he provides encouragement and unbiased feedback to help me through.

I love how he insists that we eat dinner as a family around the kitchen table every chance we get. I also love that when we eat together he always starts the meal by asking that we go around the table and tell one another what we are thankful for.

I love the way he is whole-heartedly committed to the Flyers and the Eagles... and supports them each year whether or not they have winning records! I love how he will jump around and cheer loudly every time they score... and he doesn't reign himself in at all. All of his joy and passion just flow out of him. It's magic.

I love how much of an ACTIVE and ENGAGED parent he his. He tries to be there for every game, every practice, and every meeting. He works on homework with Trey, flashcards with the girls, and he is always worried about whether or not we are doing right by our children. He wants to be the best dad in the world *and he is!*

I love the way he tells me that he loves my hair short when I cut it short, or that he loves it long when I grow it out, or he loves the color when I get adventurous with highlighting. He loves it whichever way it ends up... because he loves me :)

I love how he loves to share the responsibility of running errands on the weekends and taking care of household chores. He looks at it as a way to spend time together. (which is good, because our free time is usually spent grocery shopping and cleaning up around the house!)

I love that he makes me laugh every day. Not just a chuckle here and there, but REAL, DEEP, from my HEART laughter... every single day :) There is never a dull moment around here, that's for sure!

I love that he showed such saintly patience as I struggled with hormonal changes the two years I was pregnant with our girls. *Two years, back to back!*

I love how he apologizes when he is wrong or when he accidentally says or does something that hurts my feelings. He pushes his pride aside and takes a moment to look me in the eyes and say he is sorry.

I love the way he supports my relationship with my family (parents / siblings) and respects how close we are.

Finally, I love the way this man I am blessed to call my husband has enriched my life. I love that (even though at times it has been hard) he has made me a better person. He has made me a stronger and more confident woman. He has given me our beautiful children, and knows everything about me but chooses to love me anyway :)