In another 10 minutes, they passed a tea shop. The owner of the shop blurted out “What an uncaring son ...- making his father walk while he himself is comfortably sitting on the donkey. The son upon hearing this comment, got down from the donkey and asked his father to ride on it.
As they carried on their journey, they met a couple of men on the road. One of them remarked to the other “Look at the selfish old man riding on the donkey, while making the poor boy walk” The father became very uncomfortable with the comment, and asked his son to also sit on the donkey.
Further along, they met a group of women washing clothes. One of the women said “How cruel these men are. Look at the poor donkey bearing the weight of two men. It would be better if these two people carried the donkey for a change”
Eager to please, the men found a bamboo stick, tied the donkey’s legs on it and carried the donkey on their shoulders. As they passed over a bridge, they met a few children playing. Upon seeing the sight of the men carrying the donkey, the children bursted in laughter, and said “Haha - Look at these fools! Carrying the donkey on their shoulders” At this time the donkey got restless being carried upside down. The poor donkey jumped and fell down the bridge and died!
The moral of the story is that it other people will always have an opinion about what you should and not do. It is impossible to satisfy everyone. In trying to constantly yield to other people’s opinions, we give up our own best interests and become losers!"
• Changing a position, or altering what you believe because someone shows signs of disapproval.
• Sugar coating a statement to avoid the reaction of displeasure.
• Feeling depressed or anxious when someone disagrees with you.
• Feeling insulted or put-down when someone states a contrary sentiment to your own.
• Being excessively agreeable and head nodding, even when you don’t agree at all with what is being said.
• Performing chores for someone and feeling resentful about not being able to say no.
• Being intimated by a sharp salesperson and buying something you don’t want.
• Saying things you don’t mean just to avoid being disliked.
• Trying to impress others with your knowledge of something that you know nothing about by “faking it!”
• Begging for compliments by setting yourself up for approval, and then feeling bad when they don’t come.
Many wise men have spoken about this need in us to seek approval from others, in their own ways. For example:
“Self-actualized people are independent of the good opinion of others” -Abraham Maslow
“Do not be a football of other people’s opinions.” -Sri Sri Ravishankar
"I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." -Bill Cosby
Each and every one of us enjoys appreciation, praise and approval. It is only natural. There is nothing wrong with that, and we do not have to give up feeling good when we are approved of. The problem starts to happen only when the having approval starts to become a need rather than a desire.
For any opinions that you hold on any subject, you will always find someone who holds the exact opposite opinion. It is impossible to please everyone, so you might as well stop trying. If you have a strong need for approval, then you stand to be easily manipulated by others, as you will go to great lengths in trying to please them. If you do it enough, you will begin to lose confidence in your own self, in your own thoughts.
It's also important to remember that the opinions that people have about you are simply their opinions. Whether it is good or bad, it has nothing to do with you. It is you who has to decide whether something to applicable to you or not. In case of disagreement, there is no need to argue or try to convince others of your stance. It is impossible that everyone will understand everything that you think/believe and do. You just need to become more self-reliant and trust your own judgments more.
The point here is to remain centered in your own self, even in the face of disapproval. Say it with me!: I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others. I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others. I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of other. I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others. I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others …”