Thursday, August 11, 2011


When you come to a fork in the road you have to make a choice. You weigh the options and then you choose... and you don't look back.

Life has brought my family back to Derby. This is where our heart is. In being here, I have come to realize that I have to change my mindset and center myself, or I will fall into the same habits and face the same issues I have worked so hard to get away from and overcome.

My brother just celebrated TWO YEARS of sobriety. It's such an amazing accomplishment and I am so proud of him. He came over and showed us all his two year coin, and I could see the pride and the pleasure of success written all over his face. I made the comment "I gotta get ME one of those..." and it got me to thinking.

I struggle with addiction. It's not a secret. I have struggled for as long as I can remember. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that since I have someone to watch the kids, I find myself being drawn to going out just because I CAN go out... and I find myself drinking just because I have the opportunity. From today on out I am going to make the conscious choice to stay at home and stay away from nonsense like that. My life has been wonderful lately, and I am going to continue down that positive life path. I refuse to be distracted by trivial and pointless activities such as staying out late and putting alcohol into my body.

Frank is in Texas, which breaks my heart. I am already feeling the sting of his absence. I miss him desperately when he is not around... and I feel like a large part of me is missing. I know the kids miss him too, which makes the distance even more difficult to bare. Neither of us are sure how long he will end up having to work down there or how long it will take for UP to push his Wichita transfer through, but hopefully it's not too long.

The search continues for a new place to live. I have emailed a few different folks in regards to properties that I found listed on Craigslist. I have also put the word out to friends that we are in the market to rent. Hopefully by the end of this month or the middle of next month we will have found something.

As soon as Trey starts school and I find a program for the girls to attend, I am going to start actively working on getting into shape and losing weight. The last month I have gotten off track, and I am ready to take the reigns and make some more progress. I intend of hitting the gym 3 times a week, and doing some strength training / cardio / interval training 5 days a week. My goal is to lose 10lbs a month... and eventually lose up to 100lbs. It's a big goal, but I feel that it's within my reach if I work hard and stay focused. 

Trey is enrolled at Tanglewood, which is exciting. I love the open classroom setup and the principal is a wonderful woman. I have high hopes for this year. Trey is also ready for football. His first practice in Thursday night. He is playing on the same team he was on last year.

Well, that is all I have for right now. I am sure I will right more later. It happens.

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