No matter how you might be made to feel for whatever reason, you don't have to take your clothes off, be super skinny, be crazy in the bedroom, *or do ANYTHING ELSE* to be sexy. You are beautifully sexy just as you are, just by being yourself. If someone can't see that, if someone looks past you to search for someone else, or makes you feel as though you need to do MORE to please them, then you shouldn't waste your beauty on them anyway. they are the ones searching for something they are lacking within themselves. Dont let their shortcomings manifest as negative energy for YOU.
Finally, love yourself above ALL. you are more important than any relationship. Yes, if you have kids sometimes you think that staying in a bad relationship is what is best for THEM, but you are doing them NO favors by living in misery. kids can sense when something isn't right, and it WILL effect them worse than anything that may come of you deciding to end it.
If you aren't happy within your relationship and you have let your significant other KNOW this, and they have done nothing to help to fix the problem, you should always come first and the relationship should take a back burner. there is only so much you can do, and so much you should be willing to take. I believe that people should try to make things work, but working on a marriage/relationship is more than just saying "yeah, we will work on it." It takes dedication, time, effort, and commitment. If you are giving 100% in each of these areas and your partner is giving any less, it's time to cut your losses. do not convince yourself that the relationship is being "worked on" when it clearly isn't.
Remember (ESPECIALLY when it is hard) that you don't want to wake up 20 some years from now and realize you have wasted 20 years of your life just being polite... so say what you feel... say whatever it is you need to say... SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOP. do whatever it is you need to do. make a change, hell, DEMAND a change... because you only get one life... and if you aren't going to fight to make sure it's a good one, no one else will.
Here is some "verse" (lol) I wrote for my friend... take from it what you will.
these days ive got nothing more that i want you to take.
ive become royal blue with blue tears...
the phone call you make when you're in the shit.
the trouble is im looking for something far greater than this...
and all this time while i was trying to love you, you were just getting numb...
so im acting out and im giving in and im throwing myself overboard
ive got strong arms and legs that can handle these waves.
under the surface, waiting...
and i can feel the frantic fish around me, petrified and aimless...
in all this noise... its still better than hiding on your boat
pretending it will get me somewhere.